Famous People Who Could Have Been Pool Builders
The swimming pool industry is full of fantastic and unique characters. This is due to the strange and sometimes harsh working conditions that workers in this field
have to deal with. Working up to 100 hours per week is not uncommon, and working doing physically strenuous activity in unrelenting heat and humidity is just part of
the job. Most people could, and would never work in these kinds of conditions. Add to this the fact that pool owners are very skeptical of any recommendation that
involves spending money. If you make a mistake working on a pool you can cause tens of thousands of dollars of damage. If you make a mistake building a pool you can
do easily that much damage or more as well as being potentially sued for your trouble. Between the stress, the long hours, the physical nature of the work as well as
the pressure from demanding customers, the pool and spa industry tends to attract a certain breed.
There are many famous people that could have been pool builders if the lifestyle of being rich and famous had not dragged them away from their true calling. After a lifetime in the pool and spa industry I have developed a keen eye for a pool guy with "the right stuff". Here are a few examples of famous people that missed their true calling.
Arnold Schwarzenegger would have made an amazing pool builder. This is pretty obvious since it is fairly clear that Arnold can do, and succeed, at anything he wants. Mr. Universe, one of the biggest movie stars in the world, married a Kennedy and then going into politics. I am pretty sure that Arnold could cure cancer if he decided to go to medical school. If Arnold had decided to answer the call of the pool industry he would have no doubt become a concrete pool builder though he would need to develop some serious forearm strength before getting on the plastering crew.
Potential company slogan: Ya you hire da best pooahl builda ya, I show yargh unff going iz beets eargraraph - DO IT NOW!
Hannibal the Cannonball
Working in the pool industry I have always assumed that many of my co-workers are serial killers. It would come as no surprise to me at all if Hannibal Lecter had instead become a pool builder that specialized in unique and potentially dangerous construction contracts. He would own the type of company that employs a small, and ever revolving, army of kids for his workers. He would probably have a lot of service and maintenance contracts as well that would give him access to hundreds of backyards. Being both a psychiatrist and psychopath would give Hannibal a decided advantage over his local competition in the pool market.
Potential company slogan: Call the pool Doctor - The last pool guy you will ever call!
Trailer Park Pools
I am certain that the Trailer Park Boys might actually be pool builders. They seem to have all the normal qualifying criteria such as unreliable vehicles, criminal history, drug and alcohol dependence and yet somehow they excel at landscaping and botany. Combine into this that Mr Lahey (John Dunsworth) is formerly a stone mason and you have all the makings of a mid-tier vinyl pool construction crew.
Potential company slogan: Hydropools, hydroponds, hydroponics - All of your hydro needs in one place!
Donald Trump would be the type of pool builder that travels to Dubai and the UAE to build gold-leaf-etched tile swimming pools that are so large they have to take into account the coriolis effect of the earth when building them. His ability to conceive of new and unique ways to spend money on swimming pools would drive him to the forefront of the industry. His pool company would suffer greatly from a constant skilled labor shortage due to his unwillingness to employ minorities.
Potential company slogan: Presidential pool conglomerates - Exclusively built from the finest quality materials on the planet
Some of the best pool builders in the world are half crazy. That makes Gary Busey twice as good as them! Had he only been exposed to the wonders of being a pool service worker then Gary could have applied his unique level of crazy to this trade. Unfortunately without guaranteed dental plan coverage Gary decided to become an actor instead. Sadly, as a result, the world will never know the thrill of a lazy river minefield since Gary was not around to invent it.
Potential company slogan: There is no pool problem that we can't chew through!
Capone Masonry Contractors Inc.
The pool industry had a reputation for a long time about mobsters, criminals and contract killers owning swimming pool construction companies so they could dispose of dead bodies under concrete pools. While this may or may not be true every old concrete pool I have had to jackhammer out the bottom I am always sure to watch out for human femurs. Al Capone would have made a great pool builder from his connections to the mob as well as his willingness to willfully avoid paying taxes.
Potential company slogan: Nyeah see, weez gonna be building this here pool see and if youz knows whats good fur ya you will keep your yap shut - or else.
Funkin In The Pool
More than anything James Brown is a standout to be a pool company owner due exclusively to his work ethic. His willingness to completely destroy his body in the name of a days work combined with his relentless and tireless energy levels would have made James Brown a great pool builder. James was also sweaty all of the time and spoke in such unintelligible tones and inflections that he needed an english to english translator. He could have been one of the best.
Potential company slogan: Salt water pools feel nice like sugar and spice...HEY!
Kramer Pool Excavating
I think that Michael Richards might actually need a job these days. He managed to drop off the map pretty fast after his racism fueled rampage at a comedy club back in 2006. If he decides to start building pools he could potentially have a career resurgence in the pool and spa industry - so long as he has learned what NOT to say by now. He has sure proven himself as someone who can dig a giant hole...all he needs to do is learn how to drop a pool in it.
Potential company slogan: I am genuinely, deeply sorry for my comments against the black community. Please hire me. I am in desperate need of work.
Pool Stars Consulting
Rick Harrison of pawn stars would fit right into the pool and spa industry. His more than shrewd negotiating ability would be key in nailing down big construction contracts, and his familiarity in leading a group of hapless morons at work would be essential in putting together his construction crew. Rick would be the type of pool industry worker that would sit behind a busy pool service desk and spend his days informing people that the parts they need are rare and extremely expensive.
Potential company slogan: Pool stars Consulting - I know a guy who is an expert with this who can come down and take a look and see what this thing is worth, OK?
The fast talking nature of Vince Vaughn is the perfect attribute to make Vince a potential pool guy. He would have the ability to talk until you lose the ability to find your ass with both hands, and the next thing you know you will have signed a new pool building contract with him. Somehow you ended up giving a 90% upfront deposit with a vague promise of a date to break ground on the job. He is also a big guy which is always useful on a pool construction jobsite.
Potential company slogan: You want pools? We got pools! Every kind of pool you can imagine. Why would you talk to anyone else? You wouldn't - that's why. Vegas baby, Vegas.
Right Price Pools
For over 100 years Bob Barker has been showcasing prizes on "The Price Is Right" game show. Now that he has retired from the show he can focus on showcasing backyard poolscapes to potential customers. Years of memorizing retail pricing would give him the edge in on-site negotiations with potential clients.
Potential company slogan: Come on down - you are the next customer and the price is right!
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