What Might Happen To Your Pool In 2022
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I have noticed, and I would bet that you have noticed as well, that the news no longer reports on actual news that has happened but instead tends to look at fantastical ideas of what possibly could happen...you know, in a worst case scenario kind of way. By highlighting and focusing on terrible things that might happen the news is able to increase their viewership numbers substantially because people watching the news are scared and looking for updates and answers. Recognizing the success of this strategy I feel compelled to follow suit in attempts to drive up my viewership numbers for www.SwimmingPoolSteve.com. It's either this or I start uploading myself in bikini pictures to the Swimming Pool Steve Instagram account so I think we can all agree this is the lesser of two evils here.
There are a lot of things that might happen in the pool industry in 2022 which could affect your pool or your ability to enjoy your pool this year. Let's make some stuff up...er let's report on some potential "news" that might happen this year. Late breaking stories here folks. Be sure to subscribe to the Swimming Pool Steve Youtube channel for all of the latest details. Actually, breaking character here for just one moment, I will be releasing some new videos shortly that I never thought would be something I would see in the pool industry. This is just a teaser for any readers of this blog. Subscribe and you will see soon what I am talking about. Back to the real story here, which is covering the information you need to know about Poolpocalypse 2022; Sanitizer 2 - Judgement Day.
Swimming Pool Mergers & Acquisitions
There are rumors from trusted sources (winky face) of some shocking new mergers and acquisitions in the swimming pool and spa industry that have industry experts voicing concerns. In a shocking turn of events an eccentric billionaire purchased majority shares in Pentair, Hayward and Fluidra in a successful hostile takeover bid. Upon completion of the ownership agreement the company has been branded with a new name that celebrates each individual company name plus the year of their merger; Phen-Flu 22. The public has not responded well to the new company name. Class A common shares for Phen-Flu 22 have plummeted since their recent IPO.
In other merger news the largest manufacturer of beach shoes in the world, owned by French investor Phillipe Fillop, was sold to The Floppy Ears Trading Company but then sold back again to the original owner after failing to upset speculative analysts poor expectations for the new merger. It is speculated that chronic shortages in product plagued the newly run company until it forced the fire sale back to the original owner. Mr. Fillop, a serial entrepreneur, has vowed to build back his company to its previous levels of success by focusing on his original market which is beach go'ers. Immediately upon reacquiring his company Mr. Fillop completed multiple market analysis before purchasing controling interest in the leading manufacturers of boogie boards, beach clothing and waterproof bluetooth speakers. In total, Phillipe Fillop, flip flopped, flipped it to the Floppy but they don't got stock, so they rebrand the boogie, add a sunblock and hoodies to the rhythm of the boogie board beats.
New Swimming Pool Products In 2022
An exciting new product is expected to hit the shelves this summer that promises to make owning and caring for your swimming pool much easier. Rumors are circulating that this new electronic gadget was developed by an African farmer looking to provide clean water to the well in his village. The simple electronic device controls the pH of the water through constant monitoring and correcting in real time using hydrogen absorbed from sunlight during the day making this device the first fully off-grid and self powered pH controller ever developed. Further, a sanitizer delivery system can be added which automates the process of both regular chlorination as well as periodic breakpoint chlorination to control combined chlorine levels and chlorine resistant protozoans, plus a natural enzyme release system which prevents sanitizer degradation and eliminates the need for stabilizing sanitizer. It is said this device only costs $20 and is guaranteed to run with 99.99% accuracy for over five decades, and half of each sale goes toward creating sustainable water sources for underprivileged children across the globe. When interviewed about this exciting new technology, one pool owner was quoted as saying; "That's a scam I saw it on Facebook news. Yeah they always trying to get you to buy this fancy digital crap. Probably break down and cost a fortune to fix. I use essential oils in my pool and it always looks great!".
In other shocking pool product news it has been decided that "pool noodles" are too phallic and represent an imbalance of sexism within the pool industry. In response, government officials have now banned individual pool noodle sales, and you can now only purchase non-denominational, gender neutral floating pool mats which are inclusive of both protrusions and openings as well as options for neither protrusions nor openings. One pool store owner was quoted as saying "I literally have no idea what the hell is happening right now". This is just another in a long line of forced changes and regulations within the pool industry, following last years media storm saga about slim profile pool filters creating unreal filter-body expectations for large sand filters. Any filter with a circumference of less than 32 inches is now required to have a bulbous pre-filter attached to it and sales of filters smaller than 25 inches are no longer allowed in Australia.
New Department Of Energy Requirements For Heaters
After the widespread success of the new energy conservation laws for dedicated filtration pumps in the spring of 2021 the Department of Energy has reportedly widened their energy conservation requirements to now include variable heat heaters. If you have a single heat heater, and it was manufactured on or before October 21 2015, then you are required to upgrade to a variable heat heater. It is estimated that variable heat heaters can reduce on heating fuel costs by up to 90% by lowering the heat output via a rheostatic controller. When interviewed, the lead engineer and designer of gas fired heaters and electric heat pumps for Phen-Flu 22 (probably) said "No, that is not how this works at all. There are no energy conservation laws to utilize like the affinity laws with pumps. This will literally not work. You will just need to heat the water longer and it will be less efficient. Maybe even dangerous!". In response, public relations from the Department of Energy have stated that the lead engineer from Phen-Flu "better shut his nerd mouth" or he is going to "get his ass handed to him". The public relations officer then proclaimed "Biff out" before upsetting the podium and exiting the conference room where the media day was taking place.
In more unexpected news it was recently determined that high levels of phosphates are contributing to a global increase in deadly blue-green algae outbreaks in public streams and waterways. As a result, it is now illegal to have phosphates in your swimming pool. Any swimming pool found to be harboring illegal phosphates will be required to drain the pool into a local stream or waterway and refill the pool. This will prevent the phosphates from making their way into local streams and waterways. Reported fines for phosphate related infractions are in the tens of thousands of dollars per offense, and this has led to nationwide shortages and hoarding of lanthanum. Some pool owners called this latest move against pool owners "absurd and discriminatory" and "criminally negligent" but those people have not been heard from in a while now so probably everything is fine.
Just to think this is just the beginning of what is in store for your swimming pool in 2022. I did not even have time to mention the proliferation of the North American chlorine resistant piranha which has upset pool owners everywhere, except Florida. Or the shipment of overseas bath salt illicit drugs that were labelled as pool chemicals which accidentally were distributed to the retail level causing widespread panic everywhere, except Florida.
I hope you enjoyed this take on what might possibly happen in the future 2022 swimming pool season. Take every word as 100% irrefutable truth and share it through social media like peer reviewed facts. As for our feature story about whether swimming pools cause limb loss at unusual rates, and the answer is no. Up next at 11:00 - do aliens live in your swimming pool and steal youth from your children as they swim? Stay tuned to find out!
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Swimming Pool Steve is an award winning, second generation swimming pool and spa specialist from Ontario Canada. With over 10,000,000 views on the Swimming Pool Steve YouTube Channel, winner of the 2018 Pool & Spa Industry Leadership award and author of hundreds of pool and spa articles both online and in print Steve is committed to helping pool and spa owners as well as pool and spa industry workers learn more about the technical side of building, renovating, repairing and maintaining all types of swimming pools and spas. Follow Swimming Pool Steve on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.
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